Relationships can be beautiful connections that we make with people that can prove to be both rewarding and fulfilling. There are incredible benefits to building a strong relationship; however, it’s crucial to mention that they take a lot of physical and emotional work to maintain. To develop a strong relationship both parties must dedicate time, effort, and communication to make it work. Unfortunately, we sometimes find ourselves putting in way more work than the other person is willing to, which may indicate that you’re in a one-sided relationship.
Questioning whether you’re in a one sided relationship can cause hurt and confusion. This confusion may trigger feelings of betrayal, dissatisfaction, pain, and anger which can then manifest itself into more self-destructive and unkind behaviors. If you suspect that you may be falling into a one-sided relationship, here’s some signs to consider.
1. Your intuition is telling you something isn’t right
Go with your gut, sis. Your intuition knows you sometimes better than you know yourself. It’ll tell you when there is something wrong way before you can assess the situation with rationality. When your gut tells you that there is something off in your relationship, the best plan of attack is to listen to it and use communication to either confirm or deny your suspicions. Don’t be afraid to talk about this feeling with the person in question. Besides, the best way to build your relationship with someone is through very clear communication.
2. They only talk to you when they need something
Let’s face it–unless you’re a licensed therapist and your relationship is a business one, it isn’t your job to be “on call” for people who just want to contact you to talk about their problems or need you for a favor. You deserve to have a mutual relationship with someone rooted in love and reciprocity. If the person in question only calls you when they need something from you, it’s time to re-evaluate the dynamic of the relationship to determine whether or not you are comfortable with that type of relationship.
3. They don’t have much time to spend with you
As mentioned above, building a solid relationship means lots of time and dedication from both parties. If you find that they cancel on your plans more often than not, and that you’re available for them when they need you, it’s a good indication that you’re involved in a one-sided relationship. Again, communication is key, so if you address this issue and the person in question isn’t interested in changing the dynamic so that it works for both of you, then it’s time for you to decide whether or not the relationship is what you want.
4. You’re always making the plans
Indecisiveness doesn’t indicate that your relationship is shaky, maybe you’re just a better planner than they are, but the issue here is that you’re always taking the initiative. In a relationship there must be the concept of reciprocity–give and take. Planning from both parties and following through with plans means that both people are committed to the time and effort it takes to build, but if you are the only person making those plans then your relationship may be one-sided.
5. They’re busy when you need them
Emphasizing again on the idea of reciprocity, a relationship must be based on the idea that both people are willing to do the work. If you find that the person in question is often times not available when you need them the most, you must reassess the role you’re playing in the relationship.
If these steps resonated with you and you suspect that you’re in a one-sided relationship, give yourself time to think and decide whether or not you’re comfortable with being in that relationship. If you want to hear the Queens talk about this issue and more, check out the Queen Series Podcast